I had to go out of town for a police interview regarding an incident I'd rather forget. They also needed a statement from my 18 year old niece, so I picked her up on the way.
My niece had her turn first. Rather than wait around in the station with my 4 year old daughter, we decided to explore this little town a bit. Okay, the plan was to get ice cream but exploring just sounded better.
When we finished, we sat around playing and fooling around on the wooden park bench in front of the court house, which is beside the police station, waiting for any indication that it was my turn to go in.
At one point I slid over to my daughter and got a sliver in my butt for my trouble. So here I am, on Main Street, in this little town of about 20,000, with my hands down my pants, laughing at the silliness of the situation. I get it out. Sit back down. Ouch. There's more.
I stand up, stick my butt in my daughter's face and ask, "do you see any sliver that you can get out?"
"Oh mom! There's lots of them there!"
So I'm thinking, we could go over to that restaurant, we had already been there, but I felt funny, it's not very private. What if someone walks in and I have my pants down? Then I get this bright idea.
I go to my van, sit in the middle seats and take my pants off. It didn't take me long to figure out I'd have to take my panties off too.
Sitting back down to quickly get through this fiasco, I break out laughing as I realize I now have chip and donut crumbs in my crack.
I pull out about 10 tiny slivers then dust myself off before putting my panties back on.
I'm looking around. I see cops talking over at the court house, hoping they can't see through the tinted windows of my van.
There are about 100 teeny weenie slivers stuck in my jeans. I'm working away frantically, killing myself laughing at the situation.
My niece comes back into the car scaring the bejesus out of me. I can't believe I'd forgotten to lock the doors! Then, God love her, she breaks up laughing when she sees what's going on, causing the cops who are still earning their paycheck by gossiping over at the court house, to look over.
Of course she has her own view of the situation. "Here we are in the parking lot of the police station and your half naked. What if they arrest you for indecent exposure? What if you go to jail? How will I get home?"
Between all the laughs, I remember the reason she came to the car, to tell me its my turn for interview, the cop is inside waiting for me. And I'm not ready!
My dilemma - take a few more minutes and take all the slivers out, or dress quickly and risk the pain that may cause by leaving them in. I picture the cop coming out to the car to see what's taking me so long. I got dressed. How? I'll never know. We were laughing sooo hard.
I made it through the interview. I'm actually glad there was some humor to get me through the seriousness of the meeting. I'm pretty sure it's due to all my laughter that nobody died that day.
We were still laughing about it on the way home. Then I get a horrifying thought in my head. I can see it now. My daughter's teacher asking "Where were you yesterday"? "We went for a long drive and my mom took her clothes off in the car". Yikes!
My niece pipes up "How is it that stuff like that always happens to us??" I tell her it must happen to other people too, they're just smart enough to keep it to themselves. She says "I wont tell anyone. I promise."
I laugh and say this is just too good - I'm gonna tell everyone!
It could have been worse. At least in wasn't 20 below - no frozen moon for me! Not to mention attracting more attention by steaming up the windows in a cop parking lot.
